


"There he is"

by OpponentsHeir



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, First Kiss, Haircuts, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, Making Out, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25790893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpponentsHeir/pseuds/OpponentsHeir
Summary: It had been no more than 2 hours since Bellamy came through the bridge. His face was covered in dirt and grime, his eyes were sunken, his hair and beard were 3 times the length they were since the last time she saw him, his lips were chapped, and he was covered head to toe in makeshift fur garments.Even though she now knows that he had been there for only 5 months, his appearance made him look 15 years older.The only thing that went through Clarke's head at the time was:He's alive.Everything after that was a blur.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 46
Kudos: 248





	1. "There He Is"

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during 7x12. Clarke cuts Bellamy's hair and comforts him.

Bellamy had gotten out of the shower about 10 minutes ago. He had already taken care of his beard as it is now non-existent but Clarke knew that he would need help with his hair. 

Standing in the bedroom doorway, he already looks 15 years younger from earlier on now that he's all clean, aside from a few scabs here and there from the harsh climate. 

Wearing nothing but some grey shorts provided by Bardo, he walks in the room, taking a seat in the chair in front of Clarke. His shoulders are slumped, pulled forward, into his body with his hands in-between his knees, thumbs fidgeting unintentionally. Clarke can now see the purple bruises displayed all over his back.

Scissors in hand, she begins snipping away at the long strands that had been growing for months on end. Once she is satisfied with the back and sides of his head, she gently brushes off the stray hairs that had landed on his neck and shoulders. Pulling up a chair in front of him, she takes a seat and leans in close. Their faces are no more than a foot apart. Careful not to accidentally jab him, she slowly begins to snip away the hair in front of his eyes.

_Snip, snip, snip._

Bellamy's eyes never leave her face the entire time.

_Snip._  
_Snip._

He hasn't said a single word since he's gotten back from Etherea.

_Snip._  
_Snip._  
_Snip._

Sometimes silence is the greatest sign of understanding.

_Snip._  
_Snip._

She had been trapped on a burning planet and he, a frozen one.

_Snip._  
_Snip._  
_Snip._

Just steady breathing between the two of them.

Clarke finishes with a couple more snips.

She moves back a bit to admire the sight before her. His curls. His freckles. The scar on his lip.

"There he is," she says with a tender smile. Her eyes meet his.  
They hold each other's gaze for a few seconds longer until Bellamy frowns and his eyes drop down to his hands.  
Clarke takes them in her own, warm and callused.

"I'm so proud of you, Bellamy. I don't think any of us could have done what you did."

"I thought I was gonna die there," his voice comes out as a croak.

Clarke pauses.

He looks back up to meet her gaze. The expression on his face is heartbreaking. She can see the tears forming in his eyes.

"Bellamy—"

"The _only_ thing that pushed me to keep going was you. Thinking back to when I left you during Praimfaya. Finding you alive after _6 years_..." his voice starts to break... "I thought I was a dead man..."

It kills her to see him like this.

She waits for him to continue but when he doesn't, she squeezes his hands gently.

She takes a deep breath, "Bellamy. I made it. You made it. We both made it. We survived when all odds were stacked against us. We're right here. Alive and breathing." 

She gives him another soft smile, "come here," she whispers as she reaches her arms around his broad shoulders and pulls him in close, one hand on his warm back, careful not to hurt him, the other finding its way up into his curls. Bellamy doesn't hesitate. He wrap his arms around her, clutching onto her, like she's the only thing keeping him from falling off a cliff to his death. He buries his face in the crook of her neck and stays there. 

The embrace is long and heartfelt.

She feels his warm breath on her collarbone and the wetness of his tears as he silently sobs into her. 

She holds him close.   
_I'm here._  
_I'm not going anywhere._  
_You're not alone._

They stay like that for a long time.

Right there. Body's pressed against one another. Breathing. Alive.


	2. "You're okay, I'm here."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy doesn't want to go to sleep because of the nightmares so Clarke decides to stays the night.

Clarke has lost track of how long they've been holding each other for. Bellamy's silent sobs had faded away and his breathe became even. His body is now loose in her arms. He probably fell asleep... and she doesn't dare move.

Then, out of nowhere Bellamy's body jerks and his breathe hitches.

Still holding him, Clarke pulls away just enough to look him in the eyes. Red and puffy, dark circles underneath. Must have been pulled out from God knows what kind of nightmare. 

"Here let's get you in bed. You're exhausted."

His eyes are weary and his brows furrow, "I can't..."

She thinks about getting Octavia or Miller to sleep here with him but decides against it; Octavia's been keeping an eye on Hope since Diyoza and Miller is probably passed out already.

She swallows. A beat goes by and then, "—Okay, I'll stay with you tonight."

And with that she helps him into bed. He grimaces from the pain his back has endured so he lies down on his stomach with his head facing the inside of the bed.

She lies down next to him, allowing 2 feet of space, looking up at the ceiling.

"Clarke?" He says, already looking at her.

"Yeah?" Clarke turns her head to look at him.

It comes out as a soft whisper, "Thank you."

So much is said in just those two words. They go deeper than the events of just tonight.

_Thank you for being the first to believe in me._

_Thank you for keeping us all alive._

_Thank you for making me a better man._

_Thank you for always standing by my side._

_Thank you for holding me close._

_Thank you for staying with me tonight._

Clarke knows this too, her eyes flutter, "Of course."

And within a few seconds, just like that, Bellamy gives into sleep. His breathing deep and relaxed now.

Clarke decides to turn on her side so she can face him completely.

This person has saved her life more times than she can count. He is one of the strongest people she knows, not letting her bear anything on her own. The biggest heart there is. His lips are slightly parted, his curls fall over his forehead just like they should, his cheek is squished against the pillow, the muscles in his face are now fully relaxed.

Clarke smiles to herself.

In this moment, everything is still. 

In this moment, everything feels _right_.

Clarke knows she has to get up early tomorrow but _this_ is the moment she wishes she could freeze and live in forever...

She knows that's not an option though so instead, she takes a mental picture and stores this special moment away for safe keeping. As her eyes grow heavy Bellamy begins to fade deeper into darkness.

...

Clarke startles awake to the sound of screams. Not her screams. Bellamy's.

He's screaming at the top of his lungs as if he were being tortured.

If these rooms weren't sound proof, she's positive the whole floor would be in here by now.

"Bellamy wake up" she says in a hushed voice

More screams.

"Wake up."

But the screaming only continue.

She starts to panic, "Please wake up!"

She is genuinely scared. Heart racing, not knowing what to do. 

"BELLAMY WAKE UP!

WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

She wraps him up in her arms holding as much of his body as she can and squeezes her eyes shut,

_God, please just let this be over. Please please please,_

–and just like that, as if her prays had been answered, his screaming stops. She doesn't dare release his sweaty, trembling body from her arms. With his head against her chest, she forces her heart rate back to normal taking in 3 deeps breaths and then releasing them.

His breath is uneven and trembling, his hair plastered to his forehead, his body shaking uncontrollably. Sniffles coming every couple of seconds. He's awake.

"Shhh, you're okay, I'm here. You're safe."

He has cried in front of her a bunch of times and she has cried in front of him. They're allowed to be vulnerable with each other but she has never seen him like this before.

Bellamy closes his eyes and concentrates on the steady beat of her heart.

_Thump thump_

_Thump thump_

_Thump thump..._

As the minutes pass, so does his trembling.

Bellamy lets out a a big exhale.

"If you want to talk about it I'm listening. If not, that's okay too, I'll just be here," Clarke murmurs into his hair.

They lie in the darkness just like that. Clarke on Bellamy's side of the bed with his head resting on her heart. 

_Thump thump_

_Thump thump_

_Thump thump..._

... 

He never did end up talking about it. Clarke understands why. She still hasn't talked about her time after surviving Praimfaya. It's just too difficult to bring back those memories. But that's all they are now. Memories.


	3. "A Risk I'm Willing to Take"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy won't let Clarke sacrifice herself. He makes sure she knows that they are in this together.

Clarke opens her eyes, finding the two of them in the exact same position as last night. Her, on her back with his head on her heart. Although it's time to get up, lying here for just a little bit longer wouldn't hurt.

What she doesn't know is that Bellamy has already been awake for a couple of minutes. "Sorry," he says shyly in a gravely voice, "About last night."

It seems as though he hadn't wanted to get up either. Maybe he didn't want to wake her up by accident. Or maybe he was just too comfortable.

"You don't need to apologize. Not to me."

He gives a slight nod. Clarke needs him to know how serious she is.

"Hey," Clarke adds, nudging him up from him to lean on his elbow and face her, locking their eyes together, "I'm serious." 

He gives her a real, genuine nod this time.

They hold each other's gaze for a few moments longer, and then... time stands still.

Clarke's eye's start to drift over his face admiring the freckles sprinkled all over like stars in the night sky. Just as breathtaking, maybe even more...

At the same time, Bellamy's eyes find themselves wandering down to her slightly parted lips, thinking of all the life saving words that have made their way past them, how soft they look. A wave of warmth washes over him. He gulps making his adams apple bob... 

A couple of beats go by and then Bellamy gets taken aback by how close and intimate they are. Flustered blinks and a small shake of the head to clear his thoughts, he then gives out a deep exhale as he rolls off the bed in one motion, ignoring any pain that his body feels. 

Clarke gets pulled out of her trance and brought back to reality blinking a couple of times. 

Still only in the grey shorts, Bellamy's toned shoulder blades flex as he stretches out his back. His hair is a beautiful mess and his—Fuck. Why does he have to look like this. Bellamy turns around and she quickly averts her eyes, hoping he didn't catch her staring.

"So what's the plan today?" Bellamy asks.

"Um, Bill has to speak to me." A slightly pained expression seeps onto her face. As she continues, "Bellamy... I need you to do something for me."

He tilts his head slightly and tries to search her eyes for what she's about to say.

"When I go speak with Bill...", she hesitates, "you have to get all our friends out of here and back to Sanctum."

"What? What do you mean? And just leave you here? No. No way, not without you."

"Bellamy, once he finds out that I don't have the flame, which he will... we're all screwed. So I need you to—"

His voice rises, "Clarke, I am not leaving you here."

She can see the pain on his face. "...I'll be right behind y—"

"Don't," he shakes his head, "don't try that on me."

He knows better than anyone else when she's lying.

She looks up at him with doe eyes.

Bellamy takes a a deep breath, kneels down in front of her, taking her hands in his, soft and warm. With his thumb rubbing small, soothing circles on her knuckles

_I'm not letting you do this alone._

Tears well in Clarke's eyes as Bellamy tries his best to swallow back his own. 

In a soft voice, "I'll get our people out of here and back to Sanctum, but I'm not leaving unless you're with me. I'm not letting you sacrifice yourself."

Clarke lets out a shaky breath, "Once they find out all of our people are gone, you have no idea what they're gonna do with you."

"And that's a risk I'm willing to take. Once everyone is through the bridge, I'll wait for you there. If you aren't there by 12:00 then I'm coming to find you."

Clarke knows she can't fight this one. She just wants Bellamy and all their friends to be safe back on Sanctum but his decision had been made and she knows this is a battle she can't win. "Okay." She quietly whispers.

And with that, it's time to talk to Bill.

...

Octavia was the last to walk through the bridge. That was 15 minutes ago.

Now, Bellamy stands all alone in the middle of the room with the bridge still open behind him.

"Come on Clarke," he mumbles to himself, looking down at the digital watch as the numbers switch to 12:01

_Something's wrong_

Bellamy makes his way over to the sliding door, pressing his palm against the control that opens it.

Just as steel slides open, there Clarke is. No more than 6 feet to his left accompanied by one disciple on each side, both restraining her arms. All four of them are taken aback by the sudden run-in.

Bellamy is the first to throw a powerful punch, knocking the disciple closest to him out. At the same time in one sweeping motion, Clarke knee's the other disciple in the groan and as he bends over in pain, she grabs his shoulders, and pulls him down where his face makes direct contact with his knee.

"Nice timing."

"No kidding."

Bellamy grabs her wrist and pulls her through the stone room doorway. As they start for the bridge, 4 disciples suddenly appear out of thin air, blocking the bridge. Each one of them point their fists at the two of them.

_Zap_

_Zap_

Everything goes black.


	4. We Could be Dead by Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets put into M-cap as Bellamy watches. His heart breaks for her. Once they are alone, they let each other know their true feelings.

They woke up in a dull room. Just 4 cement walls, a steel door, a couple of dim lights illuminating the space and 2 cots on on either side of the room for what ever prisoners were to sleep there.

This time, Clarke and Bellamy are the prisoners.

They had been banging on the door for the past 10 minutes.  
"We just want to talk!" Bellamy shouts.

Then the door slides open. 4 disciples come in, tasing them both so they fall to the floor. The black suits grab their arms half dragging them, half carrying them out.

They are brought to an all white room with nothing but a padded chair in the center with a large spike hanging above. Bill stands by patiently waiting along with who Clarke recognizes as Levitt.

"I gave you the chance earlier to tell me where the key is Clarke." Bill says in a steady voice, "Don't be afraid. It won't hurt as long as you cooperate."

Clarke just glares at him.  
The 2 disciples holding her bring her to the chair and start strapping her down no matter how much she tries to thrash her way free.

"Hey, leave her alone!" Bellamy shouts.   
He gets another tase and falls to the floor.

She sure makes it difficult for them but none-the-less they get her down and strapped in.

Levitt comes over, avoiding eye contact. He brings a headpiece around her with some prongs sticking out, hooking her up. Then, the spike starts to lower and Clarke's eyes widen. She begins to thrash around some more trying to wriggle herself free as the prongs pierce into her skin. Her breathing increases a multitude. Blood starting to trickle down her temples.

Bellamy's eyes are wide with fear.  
 _What the hell!?_

The spike stops a few feet above her. Clarke and Bellamy let out a deep breath in unison.

"I want everything on the big screen," Bill asserts.

Levitt nods, "Okay Clarke, let's begin. You're in an endless desert with a vast purple sky. A hand reaches out for your own. Who's is it?

Images flash on the big screen instantly. Bellamy sees glimpses of faces he recognizes. Abby, Madi, Octavia, Raven, Monty, Kane, a man that must be her father... but the face he sees the most is his own. A memory of himself freezes. Levi does a couple hand gestures enlargening the memory and plays through it.

_**I believe you try doing that hanging upside down we'll keep you safe...** _

Levitt freezes the memory once there's a clear view of the flame or what they call, the key.

A quick flicker of Clarke remembering Octavia telling her something about memory capture.

"Okay Clarke. Where is the key now?" Levitt asks in a clear voice.

Clarke clenches her jaw and squeezes her eyes shut trying her absolute hardest to think about her time in the desert. The time where she just kept telling herself to put one foot in front of the other... Until her body could no longer carry itself... Tumbling down the dune...

_**Ahhh I'm done do you hear me I've lost everything I've lost my friends my father my mother I've got nothing left...** _

Clarke flinches in her chair.

Bellamy's face twists in a pained expression.   
"Please. Just stop it."

Bill turns to Bellamy, "Maybe you would like to tell us where the flame is Mr. Blake."

"I don't know where it is."

More flashes go by. Not a single one has a person it it. Just her, alone. A gun to her head, a knife to her throat...  
A tear streams down her face. Her body trembling. Clarke refuses to give them any information.

Bill rasies an eye at Bellamy.

"Please," his heart shatters into a million pieces, "I don't know where it is. I swear." Bellamy begs. It's true. He has no idea where the flame is. All he knows is that Madi doesn't have it in her anymore.

"Keep trying." Bill urges Levitt.

Levitt asks more questions as more memories flash by the screen.

They've been at it for 3 hours and nothing has changed except for the amount of blood that has made it's way out of Clarke's temples and the tases that have been given to Bellamy from him trying to stop them. They have gotten nowhere.

Bill let's out a sigh. "That's enough. Put them back in their cell. We try again tomorrow.

"What if the same thing happens?" Levitt asks as the disciples undo the restrains.

"Then we move to plan C." Bill says as he wipes the blood off of Clarke's face.

 _What the hell is plan C?_ Bellamy thinks to himself.

...

  
An hour has passed. Bellamy sits on his cot just looking at Clarke. Giving her space but making sure she knows that he's there if she needs him.

Clarke sits with her side pressed against the cold, hard wall, knees tucked into her chest, staring into space. Her eyes are swollen.

Bellamy thinks he's given her enough time so he decides to get up and move on over to sit next to her, or in this case, in front of her. Maybe she'll give him some sort of indication of what he can do to help her. He cares about her way more than she even knows.

She feels sad.  
She feels cold  
She feels weak.  
She feels broken.  
She feels tired.  
She feels drained.  
She feels hopeless.

15 minutes pass.   
Then, Bellamy's hand inches towards hers until she feels his finger tips brush against her own. She opens her hand and lets his slip around hers until she feels the heat of his palm pressed against her own. 

Clarke closes her eyes and let's out a sigh. She needs this. This connection. This moment. She needs Bellamy. For all she knows, they could be dead by tomorrow. 

Bellamy brings his head close, resting his forehead against Clarke's. Her chest rises and falls as she draws in a shaky breath. He wishes he could take all of her pain away.

"Clarke." he whispers, gently bringing up his hand to cup her cheek, brushing away the tear that had trickled it's way down.  
She lets out a breathless whisper, "Bellamy."  
She brings her hands to rest on his thighs. They stay like that for a few minutes. Relishing in this moment of having the other here.

His jaw flexes, their lips just inches away from each other. She becomes lightheaded, her breath growing heavy. It's too much yet not enough.

_We could be dead by tomorrow._

In a split second Clarke closes the gap between them, pressing her soft lips into his. For an electrifying moment, everything around them melts away. The kiss is soft and heartfelt. Everything she has ever wanted and more.   
As she starts to withdraw a bit, Bellamy only falls into her further, deepening the kiss with a fierce hunger. Her blood is pulsing through her veins as his tongue slips into her mouth filling it with unspoken words.

_I'm sorry._

With one hand still on her cheek, his other finds it's way to the small of her back, lifting her up just enough to settle her down onto the cot as he follows on top of her, using his body to shield her from all the pain, all the hate, all the nightmares and sorrow.

_I want you._

Clarke needs more. She pulls her mouth away just long enough to grab his shirt and pull it off over his head as he does the same for her. She wants him. All of him. Crashing her lips back into his, one arm sliding around his broad shoulders, the other grabbing at his curls. She pulls him in even closer, desperate for their bodies to become one.

_I love you._

Then he moves his mouth over to the corner of her lips giving her a gentle kiss... to her cheek... her jaw... moving down to the hollow of her neck where she gives him full access. He covers her with powerful, heated kisses that are sure to leave a mark.  
A breathless "Bellamy" leaves her lips. Heat overwhelms her in the best way possible as a moan escapes her mouth. This only urges Bellamy on more, desperately making his way back to her lips. The kissing intensifies, both of them panting, never wanting to stop. He kisses her like she's the only thing keeping him from falling to his death. She kisses him like he's the only thing that will quench her thirst in an endless desert.

Tears fall freely from both of them, consumed in each other's overwhelming emotions, completely, and utterly vulnerable. Holding each other close, breathing each other in. All that matters is right here, right now.  
He lets out a moan causing shivers to run up her spine.   
Bellamy draws back just a few inches to look at her, eyes dark with desire. His thumb brushes some stray hairs off her forehead, behind her ear. Gazing into her eyes, with his full heart, he lets her know:  
"I love you... I know I should have said it a long time ago because it's been true for a long time but I am in love with you."  
Clarke let's out what he could only describe as a whimper, nodding her head.  
She manages to choke out the words, "I love you so much," before pulling him closer, kissing every last part of his face. His mouth, his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his temples, his eyelids, and then bringing him into her again to feel his naked skin against her own. His face buries itself into her neck, hot breaths seeping into her skin, arms wrapped around her body. She clings onto him for dear life.  
Nothing else in the world matters but this very moment. He is her home and she is his.


End file.
